If you ask Katiebug, she thinks I’m morbid because I like to go online and read the obituaries from my hometown. I also visit the websites of the funeral homes in the area and read those obits. I may or may not also watch the keepsake videos. She thinks that is the weirdest thing ever. I just think she hasn’t learned to appreciate a good, Southern-style obituary.
Lest you think I’m the only one who loves a good obit, you’d be oh so wrong. Fellow Southern Girl Gang member, Candance, is also a fan of a well-worded written legacy about one’s dearly departed. She’s even been generous enough to email me the ones that speak loudest to her. Gosh, I love that girl!
One thing you need to know about here in the South – People don’t die…they “go on to their Enteral Glory”, are “placed into the bosom of his Redeemer”, or become the “newest member of Heaven’s angel choir.”
So yes, I love me a good obituary and am quite particular about what I believe constitutes a good one. Number One: Let’s talk about the substance of an obituary. Don’t be vague. There are a lot of us out there who do not appreciate the fact most obituaries don’t list the cause of death anymore. As most of you know, I’m currently unemployed and looking for work but I’ve not been successful thus far. I love the specificity in this one but thankfully I haven’t reached this poor soul’s level of despair…
Columbus Daily Enquirer (Georgia)
17 December 1896, Pg. 3
Claus Meyer, of Jacksonville, Takes His Own Life.
Jacksonville, Fla., Dec. 16. -- Claus Meyer, a highly respected citizen of Jacksonville, committed suicide this afternoon as a result of discouraged business affairs. The deed was done in an outhouse occupied by the servant. He placed the pistol to his right temple and fired, the bullet lodging in his brain.
The cook was the first to discover the dead man and found him lying on her bed, with his feet tied to the headboard. The tragedy was a terrible surprise to his family and friends. He had been in a morbid frame of mind since an assignment which he made a few days ago. (source: here)
Now, how’s THAT for the last thing people remember about you? Another thing I tend to remark on that causes my offspring to shake her head is the pictures the family chooses for their late, loved ones. If you’re born in 1920 but die in 2013, surely you have at least one recent picture that could be used instead of one like this:
I’m sure these were all lovely and memorable women, but I know I wouldn’t want one of my high school pictures to be used as a final reminder of me much less one with a 40+ year old hairstyle. My other pet peeve is one of the newest member of Heaven’s choir in a wheelchair, barely able to sit without support. Really? Your mama cooked, did your laundry, put Band-Aids on your boo boos and that’s how you repay her kindness? Do you like being haunted? If that’s the only picture you have of your mama, then I grant you permission to use an older one of her. Especially if you’re lucky enough to find one like this:
So, please tell me some of you appreciate a good final send-off like I do. Cheer up a sad gal, won’t you? Please tell me you have a good obit you can share with me. Pretty please?