Hey y’all! Hope your week went well, you weren’t late
too many days this week because of the redonkulus Time Change and are having great Spring weather this weekend!
For those that have asked, the new job is going great. I like the people I work with and getting off every Friday at 3:30 is pretty sweet, too. Oh, I also cut 7” off my hair last weekend and if those stupid arm out self-portrait pictures didn’t drive me completely and utterly crazy, I just might take one to show y’all. Katiebug’s birthday is this weekend, so maybe I’ll end up with a one to share.
I promised to tell y’all some more stories from Taxapaloosa so don’t let it be said I’m not a girl of my word.
On one of the first days I was there I had a woman walk in and while standing about 18” from the front door announce she needed to have her taxes done and it would be for dancing/stripping and she made $25,000 last year. Really? You’re 56 and you made $25,000? Well, I’ll saw this much…$24,993 of that had to be stolen, because you’re 56! And definitely not Dana Delaney, Mimi Rogers or Geena Davis. (All 56 year old, BTW)
Then there was the lady who came in while I was working the evening shift. Wearing her pajamas. Oh yes she did. While I was entering her information into the program, she kept standing up and I finally realized why – her not-quite-the-correct-size pj pants were slipping down under her belly and she pulling them up and back over. I finally got that image out of my mind’s eye and then made the mistake of looking away from the computer monitor and over at her. She had raised her shirt (that did not match her pj pants I might add!) and had tucked it under her non-bra covered mammary glands and was picking at the bite/bump/blister/jungle rot on her belly…that, by the way, was hiding the waistband of those pants again.
You would think there wouldn’t be anything stranger than these two incidents, right? Well, you’d be more wrong. Way wrong. Like more wrong than a size 12 pair of leggings on a size 18 body.
That Man had come by one night to check on me while he was on medical leave and recuperating from his arm surgery. While he was there a guy came in so high and reeking of the ganja that I swear we both got a contact high. I had to break out the Febreeze and try to fumigate the place in case someone else came in and God forbid thought I was channeling Snoop Dogg.
One more and then I’ll leave you to enjoy your weekend. When you’re entering in the personal information for the taxpayer, you enter in their name – first, middle and last. Then you ask them if they have a suffix – I would normally ask, “Are you a junior?…senior?” One man actually laughed at me. Then he said, “No ma’am. Thank you for the compliment but I graduated a long time ago.” Really? You seriously believed I thought you were still in high school? Numbnuts just told me he was born in 1973. Man, I hope that Mensa Society application shows up soon.
Have a great weekend and Happy St. Paddy’s day to y’all. I know I’ve posted it before, but here’s one of my favorite Irish Blessings:
“May those who love us, love us; and those who don't love us, may God turn their hearts; and if He doesn't turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles so we'll know them by their limping.”