When last we left off, we had been involved in an altercation in Aeropostale, had told a very large, tall and angry woman to “Shut her pie hole” and then had to see her over and over again all through that outlet mall.
Christy needed to go to the Nike (Adidas?) store to buy some socks for one of her boys. Since The Boy She Loved When She Was 10 called at that moment, Candance talked to him on the phone, I was standing nearby and Grace & Z sat on a bench still in shock over what had happened. Then I saw it. A large black grackle flying overhead and pretty low at that. It flew over the girls head and I realized it was heading right for us. Us meaning me and Candance. Candance who is as scared of birds as I am of mice. I have never heard someone squeal that loudly in my entire life. I’m pretty sure that That Boy She Loved When She Was 10 thought Madea had decided she was going to finish what she started when he heard that scream and then the line go dead. Finally after getting her heart started again, we went into a few more stores, stopped for a little snack because Z was about to fall out from hunger and then headed back to the hotel.
Christy had to leave for some family event so we told her goodbye, sent her safely to her family and then headed into the hotel to try to calm down from all the excitement and tried to decide what to have for supper. Oh yi yi – what an experience that was!
While we are all getting ready to go eat, I came out of the bathroom and Candance told me that Grace had actually asked her, “Won't you get in trouble for carrying that knife without a license?” She told her, “Why don't we let Miss Leiah handle this since she's a paralegal.” Have I mentioned how much I love that little Gracie Belle?
Now that we were finally ready to go eat (Johnny Carino’s – yum!), we headed downstairs to the car but not before taking pictures on the grand staircase that looked like it was plucked right out of Tara. OH! I just remembered this. As we were walking down those stairs to leave, it was at this point that Candance noticed Mr. Snoop Dogg on the TV in the lobby and quite loudly said “It’s hard being Snoop D-O-double G.” The desk clerk sure got a giggle out of that I’ll tell you.
Well, we made it to the restaurant, ordered our food (and drinks) but only after the waitress thought the girls were twins and after telling her they weren’t, she said "Y'all are just really good friends and these are your daughters?"
We ate our delicious food, drank our one drink and laughed and laughed. On the way back to the hotel Grace sent a text to her mama’s boyfriend that said, “We've been kidnapped by drunk women!”
And he believed her y’all. That is just not right.
Next time on the Crazy Rusty Road Trip (probably Sunday), Candance will pick up the story again with That Man’s
drunken call, Grace losing a tooth and our midnight trip to Walmart.
Oh yeah, and les debris ils sont blanc* breakfast situation. (*Translation: White Trash)