A Southern lass with a lot of sass ~ striving to do it all with class!

Friday, April 24, 2015

I Don't Wanna Grow Up!

As of this posting, I’m 50 years, 6 months and 2 days old.  I’m the big 5-0…in my 51st year on this planet.  What the what? When did this happen? 

A friend of mine explains it in a way that makes so much sense: "You know how we would tell stories about work and the ladies we worked with? Guess what? Now we're the ladies." Ouch. Thanks, Gina. 

Remember when you were a little kid and all you wanted to be was grown up? I mean as in could.not.wait. Life would be so great when we were an adult. Never having to do something if we didn’t want to.  We would eat candy all day. We wouldn’t have a bedtime and would stay up as late as we wanted. We would do what we wanted, when we wanted and how we wanted, and never have to follow rules ever again.

Oh, what misguided little fools we were.

I read this the other day and thought it pretty much summed up the life of an adult. Feel free to add anything I’ve missed.

Twenty-Five Ways to Know You Have Grown Up
  1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
  2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
  3. Your fridge contains more food than beer.
  4. 6:00 a.m. is when you get up – not when you go to bed.
  5. You hear your favorite song from high school in an elevator.
  6. You watch the Weather Channel. By choice.
  7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
  8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
  9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as being “dressed up.”
  10.  You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down that crappy music.
  11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
  12. You have no idea what time Taco Bell closes.
  13. Your car insurance payments go down as your car payments go up.
  14. You now feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
  15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
  16. You take naps. By choice.
  17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
  19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
  20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer considered “pretty good sh*t.”
  21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
  22.  “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
  23. 90% of the time you now spend in front of a computer is for real work.
  24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
  25. When you find out your best friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking, “Oh crap – what happened?”
      BONUS: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and you can’t find one to save your sorry old a$$. 



How about it. What do you think could be added to the list?  

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Feet Don't Fail Me Now!

Alright ladies, it’s that time of year again. You've probably all seen this a time or two, either on the Facebook or in your email, but I think it's a subject worthy of the reminder.  So my sisters, PLEASE, raise your big toe and repeat after me…

The Open-toed Shoe Pledge

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when wearing sandals and other open-toed shoes:
  •  I promise to always wear sandals that fit.  My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. The sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.
  •  I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.
  •  I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.
  •  I will trim, clip, and file my toenails to an appropriate length and promise to never let them grow long enough to assist in climbing trees.
  • I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.
  • I will shave the hairs off my big toe.
  • I will not wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there. (Do people actually still wear these?)
  • If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue, or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or I will toss it.
  • I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl’s if my feet need him.
  • I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids’ sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.
  • I will take my toe ring off towards the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.
  • I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/co-worker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and there’s never been a pair of sandals created that can make creepy feet look good.
  • I promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.
  • I will promise to go to my local nail salon at least one per season and have a real pedicure (they’re about $35 and worth.EVERY.penny.)
  • I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear…nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.
  • I will promise to do my best to display my beautiful feet only in their full feminine glory…in a pair of gorgeous strappy sandals whenever possible.


So ladies, take the pledge, get your feet sandal ready and bare those toes.  Bless y'alls "soles"!

Thursday, April 2, 2015

"Gimme A Head of Hair..."

Disclaimer:  I was sent the mentioned products at no cost but the opinions and words contained within are all mine. Powered by BrandBacker.  

You've heard it all your life.  Oh, just wait until you get older.  Nothing stays the same as you get older.  OK, so yeah - a few things might have changed now that I've hit the big Five Oh.  A few more lines here and there.  Skin that might look a little more like crepe paper than it did a few years ago. A metabolism that’s slower than an Amish drag race. And my hair? Oh, my hair.  I've always had a full head of lush and thick hair. Like have to use two ponytail holders because it was so thick head of hair. Now – eh, not so much.  It’s as sad as a biscuit without butter.  Want to know a secret about a specific dry shampoo made specifically for brunettes?  The dark powder will cover your scalp but there sure is a mess when you wash it out. 

Imagine my excitement when I was offered the opportunity to try the Pura d’or Hair Loss Prevention Shampoo and Lavender Vanilla Conditioner.  According to the company website, “Pura d’or Premium Organic Anti-Hair Loss Argan Oil Based Shampoo is free from harsh chemicals that are the current and leading cause of many chronic hair conditions. Our shampoo is free of sodium lauryl sulfate (SLS), parabens, DEA, gluten, artificial colors, artificial fragrances and harsh preservatives. This gentle formula is fortified with an organic blend of argan oil, B vitamin complex, biotin, nettles extract, saw palmetto, He Shou Wu (Fo-ti) and other clinically proven natural ingredients to aid against hair loss.

It goes on to state, "Ingredients are specially selected for increased bioavailability and maximum absorption. Our shampoo starts by nourishing hair follicles with essential nutrients to reverse any damage and begin the healing process. Biotin strengthens hair strands, niacin increases circulation and our exclusive DHT Blocker Blend promotes healthy hair growth. Continued use will prevent further hair loss. Safe for daily use, for all hair types both men & women."

Pura d’or has been on a mission for more than four years to create organic personal care solutions that work naturally.  Their products are hand-crafted by humans, not machines. They use ingredients found in nature, not in a laboratory.  The website states that “at least 95% of…products are made with organic ingredients certified by the USDA, CCOF, Soil Association Organic and the Canada Organic Regime.”  I love these statements!

In addition to the Hair Loss Prevention Shampoos, Pura d’or also offers organic argan oil based scalp & dandruff shampoo, a tranquility shampoo and pure and organic argan oil, as well as products for your face, skin and nails.  

I've only been using the shampoo for a few days now but am definitely pleased with the product.  I was a little concerned since I do color my hair but it cleans my hair without leaving it feeling stripped. And the conditioner…oh, the conditioner! It’s the yummiest smelling lavender vanilla but the scent is not at all overpowering.  It rinses clean but still leaves my hair feeling soft without being weighed down.   

If you'd like to try it yourself, go to their website here. I’m anxious to see what happens after I finish the bottle as it does contain enough for 30 days. Stay tuned for more updates!

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Erin go bragh!

Happy Saint Paddy’s day to ya me lads & lassies!

My paternal great-grandmother' name was Velma Kelly and I don't believe one can get any more Irish than having the sir name of Kelly.  So, in honor of Mammaw & her descendants, here is a collection of several Irish toasts.  

May the roof above you never fall in,
And those gathered beneath it never fall out.

We drink to your coffin.
May it be built from the wood of a hundred year old oak tree that I shall plant tomorrow.

May the Good Lord take a liking to you…but not too soon!

May you die in bed at 95, shot by a jealous spouse.

And my all time favorite saying:

May those that love us, love us.
And those that don’t love us,
May God turn their hearts.
And if He doesn’t turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles,
So we’ll know them by their limping.